Dealing with jealousy

Sometimes life is just hard and it's really hard not to be jealous of others when they all seem to have the things you have wanted and worked hard for but cannot seem to get. I HATE feeling jealous about anything because I know I have a good life despite the downfalls but this year has been a huge struggle in that aspect. I see other married couples and just wonder why I couldn't have that and why it didn't last? But then I have to stop and think they don't have everything they want either, no one does. There is always room for a little jealousy but you just have to be thankful for what you DO have. Some people may have the happy marriage but yet struggle with infertility and here I am with a gorgeous little princess so it's just give and take. Life has been a whirwind of emotions this year. I sometimes feel like I am just spinning my wheels with everything. I'm at a stand still at work (or feel like it), I struggle to even get the bills paid, I have worked hard to have a side business with bows and monogramming but yet feel like there is a competitor on every corner, and I envy every happy family I see and I hate feeling like this. But most of the time I am okay. I know that God has a plan for me and that I am to be thankful for the things I do have because life could always be worse. I just have to remember: Jeremiah 29:11-14 "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you. You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you, declares the Lord, and I will restore your fortunes and gather you from all the nations and all the places where I have driven you, declares the Lord, and I will bring you back to the place from which I sent you into exile."

I can overcome anything, I can get through anything, and I will. I am a strong person but that doesn't mean I don't struggle. People are so proud of me being strong but I still break. I just don't show it. Just because I smile doesn't mean I am not fighting the battles of everything going on. I question every move I make and wonder what could have been done differently and why things were allowed to happen. Why would God let us do things that are so blatantly wrong? We all have to learn at our own speed and sometimes by our own mistakes. I just pray I can keep learning from mine.

But tonight I sit and feel heavy with jealousy. But I know it will pass as it always does.